I feel very down this morning, felt very down, I try not to think about all things that are unhappy. I buried myself with work. I felt very useless. I couldn't help feeling small after all the exchanged of words last and from previous firing. I cant do things right and not up to his expectations. Then what am I good for?

I have a memory of an elephant for those who hurt me and I cannot forgot those words. When I recall I feel so small and useless. What am I here for? I want to live my life the way I wish to and not to others' expectation. It is my life I have the right to choose...I have the right to choose to live or to die.

I have the right to choose the way I want to die..Even if I live or die it doesnt makes any difference. No one needs me to be around, Claudia is a grown up.... She has her dad and her friends.... She talks to her friends about her problem more then talking to me...Her father thinks that I am a bad influence to her .... He can think all he wants... because he is trying to make up for what he loss.

If a glass is broken, how could you mend it back... even glue cannot do a perfect job... it has marks. Wound will heal but scars remains. .... I miss my mother and my son... I wish and I hope I can see them and communicate with them. Mom I love you, do you know....?