Often, I felt that I am being scarifice for other matters or other people. I felt very unjustified but somehow I could not voice it out. If i were to voice it out it would be world war three for me and I could only weep to myself in my house alone and feel that life is not worth living and somehow I wish I have the courage to take my own life. I know I cry and I weep it will not solve the matter but I really cant solve the matter. Unless I make up my mind what I really want in my life.

I can count all the unhappy events
breaking of fingers
telling me that all the things he tells me I know - eg BMI (does that mean you that you dont know and I have to just as naive as you do.) (Everything I tell you, you know - what is wrong that I know and you do not know) When I know something and I share it with you... what were you thinking did you take my words serious. I just feel so small.....you made me feel.