Gone mIssIng - Hibenating Mode

Not written for some time. Gone into hibenating mode. Not that I have nothing to write but was searching for a painless death. I have spoken to medical students and other professionals and praying and praying for an answer. I am seeking the for a way to end a life as painless as possible. My face here looks doped.

My medical students tells me death is painless once you break your backbone because it nerves in your backbone damage and therefore you will not feel any pain. I thought he migh me correct. But how am I going to break my backbone and kill myself after that I would be paralyse. I thought to myself.. That would be leaping off my apartment, It mean that I could break my back that the process of breaking would be too painful.. So what should i do. I dont know... Life is not a room full of roses. If ever your room is full of rose then becareful of those thorns protecting the roses.

Sometimes, I wish I am a rose with poisonous thorns where it can protect myself with others that comes intruding. Yet life sometimes need distraction. A woman's life is like a flower, preferably a rose. A rose that is full of thorns.
At the tender age of 18 is seemly like is a bud that is blooming. The parents would like the bud to be bloom before it is being "pluck" by passerby, "Rose Admirers" there is a tuck of war here.

When the bud blooms and it turns into a a beautiful flowers. Because is it a rose not an ordinary flowers the characteristics of this Flower is it able to hurt the intruder with its thorns if you are not careful handling this flower and some cases it can cause the person to bleed.

Handling a rose is unlike handling any flowers it has to be handle with tender loving care and it needs to be groom if you have a rose in hand. First you must know how to remove the thorns so that you can get hurt.. but dont forget the leaves itself have shape edges..

I love roses because it depicts a beautiful woman that has to protect herself against cruelty and insincerity of the world. However, I wish there are roses that will never wither and black rose is my favourite as it is of rare hybrid and texture. It seems red and yet seems black. Which is the mystical side of the rose. If only i live forever then I would be an unwithered rose.